Crossroads to Somewhere
A Reading Service For All
By W T Wimpy Hiroto
Saturday, May 23, 2009

An admirer of the Los Angeles Times (circa turn of the cen­tury), CR2S is also a booster of Time Maga­zine. Unfortunately a member of a terminal breed these days times two. I also would be classified as an addictive reader, one of those strange birds who reads every­thing from start to finish as if in search for a hidden clue to perennial youth. Or painless aging. Or typographical er­rors. Caught one in the magazine a couple of weeks back. You’d have thought I hit the lottery from the warm, fuzzy feeling I enjoyed and the smirk that just wouldn’t go away. To err might be human but it has no place in Time or Times or Rafu.

Let’s be transparent, if not honest. I am a complete reader because I have nothing else better to do. After reading about the latest financial debacle, why not be informed about a $1,000 mint julep served at the Kentucky Derby or LAUSD teacher being paid $73,500 a year to stay at home — going on seven years! Or the new drug currently on the fast track that may cure you of a breath­ing problem — or maybe kill you. You learn all sorts of goodies every day by reading everything, always keeping in mind you can’t believe everything you see in print.

While I sit at home wiling away the hours squinting at agate type, some of you have better options, like pruning a tree. Or some other dreaded outdoors activity like pulling weeds. And then, of course, there are some star-crossed souls who still have to work for a liv­ing. (All CR2S readers aren’t oldies in retirement, I hope. There must be some who can read without a magnifying glass. Squinting allowed.)
                                     
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So I’ve appointed myself the des­ignated reader for all who haven’t the time nor inclination to read. And if you do, tend to skim. Let’s launch the experiment with last week’s The Time 100, the world’s most influential people.

Yup, I read the bios of everyone on Time Magazine’s roster of elite leaders & revolutionaries, builders & titans, artists & entertainers, heroes & icons, scientists & thinkers. Whee. A feat of no renown but some consequence, kind of like breathing.
Unfortunately there is very little personal insight I can offer as your substitute reader. With some chagrin I must confess to not knowing any of the 100. But let’s give it a gallant try and inform you that:

Yoichiro Nambu was prominent in the category of (how did you guess?) Scientists & Thinkers. Nambu shared the 2008 Nobel Prize in Physics for “the discovery of the mechanism of spontaneous broken symmetry in subatomic physics.” If there is need for a more simplified explanation, you have my number. Making the transi­tion from Japan’s Imperial Army to studying under Albert Einstein made it possible for physicist Nambu, 88, to pursue the study of superconduc­tivity.

To tamp the growing concern of many that CR2S is completely xeno­phobic I feet obliged to recognize En­ergy Secretary Steven Chu as an hon­oree. A 1997 Nobel Prize winner Chu, 61, also a physicist, is an advocate of weaning America from its dependence on fossil fuels. For once it appears a less than sexy cabinet appointment will be front and center in the years to come on a matter of extreme importance. Not exactly transportation secretary-like. Apologies to Norm.

And, of course, there would be an Asian somewhere in the mix when it comes to musical virtuosity (I guess.) Pianist Lang Lang made the elite this year. His biography was written by Herbie Hancock, a Grammy –winning musician and composer. Hancock I know. Yo Yo, ditto. Lang Lang, no no. The youthful and versatile classical music phenom is at ease at the Gram­mys as on a concert stage. And he wears tennis shoes with a tux. Cool.

I could not overlook Jack Ma, an Internet entrepreneur. But I almost did. Not because of any Chinese or elec­tronic bias but because Adi Ignatius, editor-in-chief of Harvard Business Review, had the audacity to describe the 44-year-old former English teacher as “soft-spoken and elflike—and he speaks really good English!” (Explana­tion point mine!) Ma is founder/CEO of Alibaba.com, a seller of companies doing international trade. He’s been so successful he forced eBay to shut down its operations in China.

The main body of luminaries wouldn’t be too difficult to guess: Barrack, Oprah, Hillary and other one-namers familiar to one and all. Brad, George, Tiger, Tina. The list is so complete it includes The Twitter Guys, not to forget Bernie Madoff, Sarah Palin and Rush Limbaugh. And yes, I guess we’ll have to get used to Michelle and her muscles.
And in a sick, blatant effort to be the first to utter such utter nonsense, will I be allowed to publically ponder the question of whether she outweighs hubby Obama? No? Okay. Comment withdrawn in the name of good taste.
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W.T. Wimpy Hiroto can be reached at wimpyhiroto@att.net. Opinions expressed in this column are not neces­sarily those of The Rafu Shimpo.